If you think you may need to apply to court following your separation, a MIAM is the usual first step. Book online through our trusted digital service.
Book a MIAM →What to Do When You Separate
Separation can feel overwhelming, especially in the early days. This page provides calm, practical guidance on what many people find helpful to consider after separation, so you can take your next steps with more clarity and confidence.
Take a pause
In the early stages of separation, it can help to slow things down. Strong emotions are common, and many people feel pressure to make decisions quickly. Taking time to pause can help prevent decisions made under stress.
There is rarely a need to resolve everything immediately.
Focus on immediate practical needs
In the short term, many people focus on:
- safe and stable living arrangements
- day-to-day routines
- basic financial organisation
Addressing practical needs first can help create stability.
Thinking about children
Where children are involved, many parents focus on:
- maintaining routines
- reassuring children
- reducing exposure to conflict
Decisions do not need to be final straight away.
Learn about child arrangementsTelling children about separationConsidering financial matters
Finances are often a source of worry after separation. At an early stage, this may involve:
- understanding what finances exist
- noting regular outgoings
- avoiding major financial decisions too quickly
Communication after separation
Communication can feel difficult after separation. Many people find it helpful to:
- keep communication practical
- focus on immediate issues
- avoid trying to resolve everything at once
Understanding your options
There are different ways to work through arrangements after separation. These can include:
- informal discussions
- family mediation
- legal advice
Different approaches suit different families.
How mediation can help
Family mediation provides a neutral, structured space to discuss arrangements. Mediation can help people:
- talk through issues calmly
- focus on practical solutions
- make informed decisions together
The mediator does not take sides or make decisions.
Learn what family mediation isThe role of the MIAM
Before applying to court about children or finances, many people are asked to attend a MIAM. The MIAM explains mediation and assesses whether it may be suitable.
Learn what a MIAM isWhat you don't have to do right now
In the early stages of separation, you usually do not need to:
- make permanent decisions immediately
- agree everything at once
- rush into formal processes
Giving yourself time is often helpful.
When you're ready
If you decide you would like structured support, you can book a MIAM through our trusted digital service.
Book a MIAM onlineDelivered by qualified family mediators in line with UK mediation standards.
Separation is a process, not a single decision. Taking things one step at a time can make a difficult period more manageable.
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