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Book a MIAM →How to Prepare for Family Mediation
Good preparation makes a real difference to how useful your mediation sessions are. This guide explains what to do before your first joint session — from gathering documents to getting the right mindset.
Key points
- Preparing well before your first session means you can focus on what matters — not searching for figures or documents mid-negotiation.
- For financial disputes: gather bank statements, mortgage documents, pension valuations, payslips, and any property valuations.
- For child arrangements: think through your child's current routine, schooling, healthcare, and what you want the future to look like.
- Speak to a solicitor before the process begins if you want independent advice on what a fair outcome might look like.
- Think about your priorities — and the areas where you might be able to be flexible — before each session.
- Your mediator will often provide a preparation checklist. If not, ask for one when the appointment is confirmed.
For a full overview of how family mediation works, see our complete guide
Before Your MIAM — What to Think About
The MIAM is your individual information meeting with the mediator — not a negotiation. You do not need documents or specific preparation for this stage. But it helps to arrive with a clear sense of what the main issues are and any specific concerns you have about the process.
Think about: the issues you most need to resolve (children, finances, property, or a combination). Any concerns about safety or dynamics that might affect the process. Questions you want to ask the mediator about how they work and what the sessions involve.
The MIAM is also a good opportunity to ask about the mediator's specific approach to financial disclosure, how they handle cases involving children, and whether they offer shuttle mediation if direct joint sessions feel difficult.
Preparing for Financial Mediation
Financial mediation requires both parties to disclose their financial positions openly and honestly. This is one of the non-negotiable requirements of the process — mediation cannot produce a fair outcome if one party is withholding information.
Before your first financial session, gather the following:
Documents to gather
- Bank statements for all accounts — typically the last three months as a minimum.
- Payslips or accounts if self-employed — typically the last three months.
- Mortgage statement — current balance and monthly payment.
- Property valuation — estate agent valuation or RICS survey.
- Pension valuations — Cash Equivalent Transfer Value (CETV) from each pension provider.
- Investment and savings account statements.
- Loan and credit card statements.
- Any existing financial orders or agreements from previous relationships.
Note: Your mediator may also ask you to complete a financial summary form before or during the first session. This is similar to Form E used in court financial proceedings, though less formal.
Preparing for Child Arrangements Mediation
Child arrangements mediation focuses on the practical questions of where children live, when they spend time with each parent, and how decisions about their upbringing are made. Preparing well means thinking clearly about the child's current situation and your vision for the future.
Before your first session, think about: the child's current routine — school days, contact time, activities. Where you would like the child to live and how much time you want them to spend with the other parent. Specific issues that need resolving — holidays, schooling decisions, healthcare. Any concerns about the child's wellbeing that the mediator should know about.
Bring any documents that are relevant to the child's current arrangements — school reports, existing agreements, CAFCASS correspondence if court proceedings are ongoing.
Useful resource: Parenting Plan Template — a structured template for thinking through what you want to agree on before your sessions begin.
Getting Independent Legal Advice Before Mediation
A mediator cannot advise you on your legal rights or tell you what a fair outcome looks like. This is why many people speak to a solicitor before mediation begins — to understand their legal position before they start negotiating.
This does not need to be expensive. A one-hour advice appointment with a family solicitor before your first joint session can help you understand your entitlements, identify areas where you may be vulnerable, and approach the negotiations with greater confidence.
Your solicitor is not in the room during mediation — but having them available to review any proposed agreement before you sign is strongly advisable, particularly for financial settlements.
Good to know: Attending mediation without first getting legal advice is not mandatory — but it is not advisable in complex financial cases or where you are unsure of your rights.
Preparing Your Mindset for Each Session
Mediation sessions can be emotionally demanding. Going in with the right approach makes a real difference to how productive each session is.
Think about your priorities before each session — what you most need from this issue and where you can be flexible. Distinguish between what you want and what you genuinely need. Consider what the other person's priorities might be — understanding their position helps you identify possible compromises.
Try to keep the focus on practical outcomes rather than grievances. The mediator will help manage the emotional dynamic, but arriving with a clear head and a willingness to problem-solve gives the process the best chance of working.
Practical tip: If you find the sessions bring up strong emotions, speaking to a counsellor or therapist alongside the mediation process can help you process them separately — without bringing them into the negotiation room.
People Also Ask
What documents should I bring to family mediation?
For financial mediation, bring recent bank statements, payslips, mortgage documents, pension valuations, and any property valuations. For child arrangements, bring school and healthcare details. Your mediator will often send a preparation checklist before the first joint session — check what your specific provider requires.
Can I speak to a solicitor before my first mediation session?
Yes, and it is often recommended. A solicitor can explain your legal position and what a fair outcome might look like before you enter mediation — helping you negotiate with more confidence. This is sometimes called getting independent legal advice, and it does not conflict with the mediation process.
Next Steps: Confirm the Date and Prepare Your Documents
Once your MIAM is complete and your first joint session is booked, gather the documents relevant to your situation and review the mediator's preparation guidance. If no guidance has been provided, ask.
If financial issues are being discussed, begin collecting the documents listed above as soon as possible — pension valuations in particular can take several weeks to arrive.
If you are uncertain about any aspect of your legal position, book a short advice appointment with a family solicitor before the first session.
You may also want to learn about:
When you're ready
When you are ready to book your MIAM — the first step in the process — you can arrange an appointment online with a qualified, FMC-accredited mediator.
Book a MIAM onlineDelivered by qualified family mediators in line with UK mediation standards.
Many people begin mediation by learning, not deciding.
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What to do next
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