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Book a MIAM →Do Both People Have to Attend Mediation?
For joint mediation sessions, yes — both people usually need to attend. But attendance is structured carefully, and there are alternatives where direct contact is difficult.
Key points
- Joint mediation sessions require both parties to attend — this is what makes mediation a two-party process.
- The initial MIAM is individual — each person attends their own private appointment separately.
- If the other person refuses to attend mediation, you cannot be forced to wait — you receive your FM1 certificate and can proceed to court.
- Shuttle mediation is an alternative where parties meet the mediator separately in the same appointment, rather than in the same room.
- Online mediation is fully available and accepted — both parties attend via video call.
For a full overview of how family mediation works, see our complete guide
Joint Sessions vs the MIAM — a Key Distinction
There are two stages in the mediation process, and attendance works differently for each.
The MIAM — the initial information and assessment meeting — is individual. Each person attends their own private appointment with the mediator. You do not meet the other person at this stage and what you discuss is confidential.
Joint mediation sessions — where actual negotiation takes place — require both people to be present. This is the nature of mediation: it is a facilitated conversation between two parties. Without both people in the process (or at minimum, willing to engage via shuttle mediation), there is no negotiation to facilitate.
For more on how MIAM attendance works specifically: Do Both Parties Need to Attend a MIAM?
In short
MIAM = individual, private. Joint mediation sessions = both people present (or in shuttle format).
What If One Person Refuses to Attend?
Mediation is voluntary. Neither person can be forced to participate. If the other person refuses to attend mediation — either after their own MIAM or without attending one at all — the mediation cannot proceed.
In this situation, the mediator will attempt to contact the other party directly before closing the case. If they still refuse, FM1 certificates are issued to both parties and you can make a court application.
The other person's refusal to engage with mediation may be taken into account by the court when considering conduct and costs. Courts increasingly expect both parties to have genuinely considered mediation.
Note
You cannot control whether the other person engages. What you can do is attend your MIAM, allow the mediator to make contact, and receive your certificate whether they engage or not.
What Is Shuttle Mediation?
Shuttle mediation is an alternative format where both parties are present in the building (or on separate video calls) but do not meet each other directly. The mediator moves between the two parties — or switches between calls — relaying information and proposals.
This format is particularly useful where one party feels intimidated by the other, where there has been conflict or domestic tension, or where direct communication has broken down to the point that joint sessions are unworkable.
Shuttle mediation is not a lesser version of the process — agreements reached this way are equally valid. Some providers offer it as a standard option; others use it where standard joint sessions prove difficult.
Related Questions
What happens if one person does not turn up to a mediation session?
If a party fails to attend without warning, the session will not go ahead. Repeated non-attendance can signal a breakdown in the process — the mediator may then close the case and issue the FM1 certificates both parties need for court proceedings. The non-attending party may face adverse comment from the court.
Can family mediation be done online?
Yes. Online mediation — conducted via video call — is widely available and fully effective. It became common during the pandemic and is now a standard option. Many people find it more convenient and less stressful than attending in person. The outcome has the same standing as in-person mediation.
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When you're ready
You can book your MIAM — the individual first step — independently of the other person, at a time and format that suits you.
Book a MIAM onlineDelivered by qualified family mediators in line with UK mediation standards.
Many people begin mediation by learning, not deciding.
Understanding your options can be a helpful first step.