A MIAM is usually the first step before applying to family court. Book online through our trusted digital service.
Book a MIAM →What Happens at a MIAM?
A MIAM is a short, private meeting with an accredited family mediator. This guide explains what actually takes place during the appointment — from start to finish.
Key Points
- You attend the MIAM on your own — the other person is not present.
- The mediator explains how mediation works and asks about your situation.
- Safety screening is a required part of every MIAM.
- The mediator does not make any decisions about your case.
- The meeting ends with a certificate — the FM1 form — issued regardless of the outcome.
- Most appointments last between 45 minutes and one hour.
Before the Appointment
You attend the MIAM alone. The person on the other side of the dispute — your ex-partner, co-parent, or whoever is involved — is not there. Each person has their own separate MIAM appointment with the same mediator.
The mediator may contact you briefly beforehand to confirm a few details — such as the nature of the dispute and whether there are any immediate safety concerns. This helps them prepare for the conversation.
You do not need to bring documents, evidence, or legal paperwork. The MIAM is not a formal hearing. It is a conversation.
Practical note: Try to attend from a quiet, private space where you feel comfortable speaking openly. If you are attending by video call, make sure your device has a working camera and microphone.
What the Mediator Will Ask You
The mediator will guide the conversation. There is no formal script, but there are specific areas they are required to cover.
You can expect to be asked about:
- The background to your situation.
- The main issues you need to resolve — children, finances, property, or a combination.
- What you understand about mediation and what you are hoping to achieve.
- Whether you have any concerns about the process.
The mediator is not forming a view about who is right or wrong. They are gathering enough information to assess whether mediation is a realistic option for your circumstances.
Example: If you are a parent wanting to agree on where your child spends the school holidays, the mediator will ask about the current arrangements, what is not working, and what outcome you are hoping for — before explaining how a joint mediation session would approach this.
Safety Screening
Safety screening is a required part of every MIAM. The mediator will ask you sensitively about domestic abuse, coercive control, child protection concerns, or any significant power imbalance between you and the other person.
This is not an interrogation. The questions are asked carefully and confidentially. What you say does not go to the court or to the other person.
If you disclose concerns that suggest mediation would not be safe or appropriate, the mediator will explain the exemptions that may apply and discuss what alternatives are available to you.
Important: Raising safety concerns does not disqualify you from receiving a certificate. If mediation is not suitable, the mediator can still issue an FM1 certificate confirming your attendance — which is what the court requires.
What Happens at the End of the MIAM?
At the end of the meeting, the mediator will tell you what they have assessed. There are three possible outcomes:
Outcome 1: Mediation is suitable
The mediator will invite the other person to attend their own MIAM. If both parties are willing, a joint mediation session will be arranged.
Outcome 2: Mediation is not suitable
This may be because of safety concerns, the nature of the dispute, or the other party's refusal to participate. The mediator will explain why and discuss what comes next.
Outcome 3: You do not wish to proceed
You are not required to agree to mediation at the end of a MIAM. You can decline, and the mediator will note this.
In all three cases, the mediator will issue the FM1 certificate — the MIAM certificate required for court. This confirms attendance and allows you to proceed with a family court application if needed.
Read more: MIAM Certificate ExplainedNext Steps: Arranging Your MIAM
Now that you know what to expect during the appointment, the practical next step is to find an FMC-accredited mediator and book a date. You can attend in person or by video call — both result in the same certificate.
There is no need to prepare extensively. The mediator will guide the conversation from the start. It helps simply to have a clear sense of the main issues you want to resolve.
Most providers can offer an appointment within a few days, particularly if you choose to attend online.
How to Book a MIAM — full step-by-step guideFrequently Asked Questions
Quick answers to common questions
Have more questions about MIAMs, mediation, or the court process? Our FAQ page provides quick answers to the most common queries.
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When you're ready
When you are ready to attend your MIAM, you can book an appointment online at a time that suits you — with a qualified, accredited mediator.
Book a MIAM onlineDelivered by qualified family mediators in line with UK mediation standards.
Many people start by learning, not deciding. That is completely okay.
Understanding what happens at a MIAM can make it feel less daunting.
The process is designed to inform and support you — not to put you under pressure. Whatever you decide, the appointment is a useful step.